


Moving Past Pain to Love

by Navajo_Woman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bobby SInger - Freeform, Ellen Harvelle - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, NSFW Art, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, OOC, Smut, balthazar - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:25:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navajo_Woman/pseuds/Navajo_Woman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has a painful past that gets in the way of his relationship with Dean. They move past it, but does that kind of pain ever really go away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thedoctormollywinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedoctormollywinchester/gifts).



 

 

Dean had been dating Cas for about three months now. Cas was just about perfect. He was smart, funny and a very caring person. He was a junior high school teacher, he didn’t drive and he could bake the best pies Dean had ever eaten. In short, Cas was _just about_ perfect.

But there was a problem.

They had hot make put sessions that left Dean breathless and sweating and hard as a diamond. Cas was an amazing kisser. Dean could spend hours kissing Cas.

But he really wanted, needed, more. He needed to have sex with Cas.

And even after three months, every time Dean got close to getting in Cas’ pants, Cas would shut him down.

Dean was incredibly frustrated and had no idea what the problem was or what to do about it.

They would be on the couch, Cas half under him. They were kissing like mad, their tongues playing hockey with one another. Cas’ hands would be under Dean’s T, running up nd down Dean’s back. Dean would be pinching Cas’ nipples, and listening to Cas moan in Dean’s mouth.

All in all, incredibly hot stuff.

Then if Dean’s hand slipped below the belt line, it would all shut down. Cas would push him off, sit up and just say, “No, Dean. You know how I feel.”

It made Dean want to scream. Or grab Cas and shake him, which of course Dean would never, ever do. But he was just so confused. And frustrated. Not to mention horny. A guy can only spend so much time with his right hand when he has a gorgeous hunk of man like Cas to make out with.

 

Dean was beginning to think it was him. There was something about him that made Cas not want to take their relationship to the next level. He couldn’t imagine what he might have done to make Cas feel this way. He had racked his memory and come up empty every time. And if Cas just didn’t like him well enough then why were they still dating?

 

Dean really, _really_ liked Cas. He might love Cas. He was afraid to admit that to himself because if they never were able to make love then that would never work. Eventually he’d have to cut Cas loose. Or Cas would cut him loose. And thinking about that just about broke Dean’s heart every time.

 

Dean laid awake thinking about the problem. _Again_. It was getting to the point where this was all he could think about. When he had his head under the hood of a car, he was thinking about what the problem could be instead of how to fix the damn car.

 

Finally, Dean made a decision. He was just going to have to confront Cas about it. Dean was really scared to do it, but being a coward was getting him exactly nowhere. And if he was ever going to get Cas past whatever the fuck was the problem, they were going to have to talk about it.

Dean just wanted to find the right time. Yep. That’s all that he was waiting for. The right time.

 

So, this was the right time. Dean cooked dinner and Cas came over at six. Cas brought a pie, which was always Dean’s favorite part of fixing dinner. Cas invariably brought a pie.

But after dinner, Dean just told Cas they needed to talk.

Cas got a very shocked look on his face which soon turned into a very worried one.

They sat on the couch. Dean was having trouble getting started so there was some silence.

Then Cas blurted out, “Please don’t break up with me Dean.”

It was Dean’s turn to look shocked.

“I’m not breaking up with you. Why would you think that?”

 

Cas looked so forlorn that it made Dean sorry he’d ever decided to talk to Cas at all.

“I think you want to break up with me because of… well… the sex thing.”

 

Dean put his hand on Cas’ knee. “Babe, I wouldn’t break up with you over that. But that is what I want to talk to you about. I need to know what the problem is. If it’s me, something I did or said to you, just tell me what it was. Please. I’m sorry.”

 

It was Cas’ turn to look confused. “Dean, it is nothing you did. Why would you think that?”

 

Dean was beginning to feel like this was spinning out of control.

 

“Okay, look Cas. Just tell me why you don’t want to have sex with me, okay?”

 

Cas looked away. He had a look of pure pain on his face.

“I really have a hard time talking about it, Dean.”

 

Dean pulled Cas’ face back to look him in the eyes.

“Babe, I understand. But if we’re ever going to get past this, you need to talk about it. Please, trust me. Please.”

 

To Dean’s horror, a tear slid down Cas’ face.

“it was a while ago. The only other sort of long term relationship I ever had. I was a virgin. The guy was much more experienced. He insisted that we have sex.”

Dean was getting a bad feeling. Plus, he was getting pretty angry with this guy already.

Cas sighed and another tear escaped his eye.

“So, I agreed. We were in bed, and he just sort of jumped me. I mean we kissed a little but that was all. He just got some lube on his cock and, well, he pushed into me. And it hurt. It hurt so bad I thought I’d die on the spot. I pleaded with him to stop, to pull out, but he just went on. It was horrible. I don’t think I’m built for sex, Dean. I think there must be something wrong with my physiology or something.”

 

Dean was so upset and angry, he could hardly speak.

“Cas, fuck. There is nothing wrong with you! That guy raped you. I would like to kill him with my bare hands. I can’t stand that he hurt you like that. Fuck”

 

Cas looked confused. “Rape? No, he didn’t rape me, I agree to have sex with him.”

 

Dean sighed. “Cas, no means no, even in gay sex. You told him to stop and he didn’t. That’s rape. And I swear, that is NOT how sex feels or how it’s done at all. If we ever get to the point where you feel safe enough with me that you think we can try to have sex, I swear I’d never hurt you. It would be amazing and incredible. And there’d be no pain. I swear it.”

Cas just looked so lost. It broke Dean’s heart. They watched a movie, with Cas cuddled up to Dean, but when it was over, Cas said he needed to go home.

Dean laid awake all night thinking about what Cas had told him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean helps Cas have a couple of 'firsts'...

Ever since Dean found out what happened to Cas, he had been incredibly gentle with him. They still had epic make out sessions but Dean never tried anything that had the potential to make Cas feel afraid or uncomfortable.

He really wanted to kill the guy who had hurt Cas. It was just as well that he didn’t know who the guy was. He never asked and Cas never volunteered the information. Dean figured if Cas ever wanted him to know, he’s tell him.

 

A couple of weeks went by.

 

They were making out on the couch. It was really hot and Cas was moaning in Dean’s mouth as Dean was pinching Cas’ nipples. Cas had very sensitive nipples.

Suddenly, Cas broke away from the kiss and said, “Dean, let’s go into the bedroom.”

Dean looked shocked.

“Cas, are you sure? I mean, we don’t have to…”

Cas just nodded. They got up from the couch and Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and led him to the bedroom.

 

Once they were there, Cas proceeded to strip, so Dean did too. Cas had a beautiful body and an amazing cock. Dean had imagined Cas’ cock many times, but now, seeing it, it was just beautiful.

They laid on the bed together and Dean just kissed Cas until they were both breathless. Dean nipped and kissed Cas’ throat and sucked on an earlobe.

Dean moved down to suck on one of Cas’ nipples. They were a very sensitive part of Cas and Dean loved to play with them and listen to the sounds that came out of Cas when he did.

Then he lifted his head and looked into Cas’ eyes.

“Cas, I want you to understand. I am not going to touch you anywhere unless I have your permission first. Okay?  


Cas nodded, looking a little scared.

Dean just said quietly, “Cas, may I touch your cock? Just touch it, that’s all.”

Cas nodded again.

Dean reached down and wrapped his hand around Cas’ very hard cock. Cas gasped. Dean very gently ran his hand up and down the shaft, using the very liberal pre cum that Cas was producing for lube. Cas moaned loudly and arched his neck.

“Cas? Is this alright?”

Cas said in a very hoarse whisper, “Yeah, Dean. Yeah.”

So Dean continued to run his hand up and down. He ran his thumb over the head ever few passes, and put his thumbnail into the slit. Cas groaned.

Then Cas said, “Dean. I’m going to cum.”

And cum he did. He shot cum up into the air and all over both of them.

Dean grinned and moved back to kiss Cas. Cas opened his mouth for Dean’s tongue.

After a bit of kissing, Cas pulled away and said, “Dean, that was amazing.”

 

Dean kissed Cas on the forehead and said, “No Cas, _you’re_ amazing.”

 

“I never knew that could be so… so…” Cas was at a loss for words.

 

Dean just grinned and said, “Yeah.”

Cas wanted to reciprocate but Dean told him no, that he was fine.

They cleaned up, cuddled up and went to sleep. Dean was so happy to be holding Cas in his arms, at last.

 

When Dean woke up in the morning, Cas was awake and looking at him.

Dean laughed, “Kinda creepy, Cas, watching me sleep like that.”

Cas smiled at him and those incredible blue eyes were shining.

 

“I was just thinking about how much time we missed because I was just so scared.”

 

Dean kissed him. “Babe, it is perfectly understandable. You had every right to be scared, after what happened to you. But now we have all the time in the world to make it right.”

 

 

Cas had missed out on so much. He had never showered with another man before so they decided to give that a try. Once they were in the shower, Dean pushed Cas against the shower wall and began to kiss him, deep, passionate kisses that left them both just panting.

Dean pulled away and said, “Cas, I want to blow you. Is that okay?”

Cas nodded.

Dean went down to his knees and took Cas’ hard cock in his hand. Cas was looking down at him and Dean looked back up at Cas, wanting to maintain eye contact.

Dean licked over the head of Cas’ cock and Cas gasped. Dean stuck his tongue into the slit and tasted Cas’ pre cum. Cas was watching his every move.

Dean sucked the head into his mouth and Cas groaned. Dean sucked on it for a bit, just tasting Cas. The he sucked down the shaft, taking Cas into his mouth down to the root. Cas’ cock was long and it went to the back of Dean’s throat. Dean swallowed.

Cas threw his head back and just groaned in a very filthy way.

Dean had his hands on Cas’ thighs and he could feel Cas tremble. Dean moved his mouth back up and then licked the underside, tasting Cas and listening to him moan. Cas put his hand on Dean’s head.

Dean sucked up and down and used one hand to just touch Cas’ balls.

Cas groaned out, “Dean, I’m… I’m coming…”

Dean swallowed every drop that Cas gave him and sucked for more. When it was done, he stood back up and kissed Cas so Cas could taste himself.

Cas clung to him like a man who was drowning.

Dean whispered in Cas’ ear, “I love that I can give you all your firsts, baby.”

 

Cas replied, “But Dean, I feel like I need to do something for you.”

 

“Don’t worry, babe. We’ll get there.’

 

 

They were eating breakfast. It was Saturday morning and they were both off for the weekend. Dean worked occasionally on Saturdays but he took this weekend off to spend with Cas.

“So, what do you want to do today, babe?”

Cas looked thoughtful.

“How about we just watch some movies and see where the day leads us.”

That sounded great to Dean.

 

After they cleaned up the breakfast stuff, they headed to the couch. Dean let Cas pick the first movie and he chose Dead Man with Johnny Depp. They both had a thing for Johnny Depp.

The movie was great if a little sad. Cas cuddled up to Dean and Dean put his arms around Cas.

Cas sighed and leaned into him.

 

Dean chose Magnolia. It was a weird movie but very enjoyable.

When it was over, they decided it was lunch time and went to the kitchen to make some sandwiches. While they ate, Cas got thoughtful.

Finally, he said, “Dean, I have really been thinking a lot about you saying I was raped. When you first brought it up, I was horrified and honestly believed I brought it on myself. But you know, I’ve decided that Balthazar was just an asshole and he really did rape me. It’s just so embarrassing. I can’t believe I ever even got into that mess.”

 

Dean got up and went right over to him. “Babe, it was _not_ your fault. He was just a predator. I wish I could make it all just go away, make it never happen. But I can’t. Maybe you should get some counseling or something.”

 

Cas looked doubtful. “Maybe… but I think you are helping me more than any counselor ever could.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas and smut... oh my!

It was Cas’ turn to pick a movie. Dean sat down on the couch, but instead of looking for a movie, Cas straddled Dean’s thighs to sit in his lap. Cas began to kiss Dean and Dean just melted into it. Then Cas was kissing that spot behind Dean’s ear that always gave him goosebumps.

Cas breathed hotly into Dean’s ear and Dean moaned, “Fuck, Cas…”

Cas licked and nipped down Dean’s throat. When he got to Dean’s collarbone, Cas pulled Dean’s T shirt away from it and bit and sucked a mark onto Dean.

Dean was moaning and hard as fuck. Cas pushed his hips against Dean’s erection and Dean groaned.

Then Cas slid down to his knees and pulled Dean’s sweats down to release his cock. Dean just looked at Cas in amazement. He started to say that Cas didn’t have to…

But Cas schussed him. Cas took Dean’s cock in his hand and then he licked over the head. Dean gasped and put his hand on Cas’ head, fisting some of his hair. Cas moaned at that.

Then Cas put the head of Dean’s cock in his mouth. He sucked and tasted Dean’s pre cum. He decided he really liked the taste so he sucked more. He used his hand to run up and down the shaft.

Dean was groaning loudly so Cas figured he was doing okay.

Cas sucked down Dean’s cock, not all the way but as much as he felt comfortable with. He used his hand on the rest of it. Dean was very well-hung and Cas was too nervous to try and deep throat him.

But he ran his mouth up and down in rhythm to his hand and it seemed to be working well.

Cas was really enjoying himself and it sure sounded like Dean was having a good time as well.

Cas used his spit to lube Dean’s cock, mainly because he was really drooling.

Cas ran his tongue into Dean’s slit and got more pre cum.

He was having a really good time. But then Dean gasped that he was gonna cum.

This meant Cas had to make a decision. He could hold Dean’s cock in his mouth and let him cum, or pull off and just let Dean shoot all over the place.

Cas opted for keeping his mouth on Dean.

When Dean came, it almost choked Cas. He wasn’t prepared for the amount of cum that was shooting into his mouth. It tasted salty and a little bitter but it wasn’t unpleasant by any means. It was just too much volume.

Cas swallowed but cum ran down his chin.

He pulled off and looked up at a very happy Dean. When Dean saw the cum on his chin, Dean leaned over and licked it off of Cas. He grinned big.

“Man are you sure you never did that before?”

Cas assured him it was the very first time.

“Then you must be some kind of sex god, Cas, because that was amazing.”

Cas was pretty pleased with himself.

 

Dean was obviously very aroused. He pulled Cas up and into his lap again.

“I wanna play with your ass, Cas. I want to so bad. Can I?”

Cas had no real idea what that entailed, but it sounded like fun so he nodded.

 

The next thing he knew, he was naked on the bed and Dean was pulling off his own sweats and T shirt.

Dean got between Cas’ legs and pulled then apart. Then he pushed up on them, and Cas grabbed his legs.

This gave Dean full access to Cas’ hole. Cas was feeling very nervous but he knew Dean would never hurt him so he tried to relax.

 

Dean grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Cas to make his ass even higher.

Then Dean pulled Cas’ ass cheeks apart with his hands and licked over Cas’ hole.

Cas had never felt anything even close to what he was feeling now. It was amazing, fantastic, unbelievable and mind-blowing all at the same time.

Dean ran his tongue all around Cas’ hole and then he shoved his tongue into Cas.

Cas gasped. It was almost too much. But then he just relaxed completely and just _felt_. He felt Dean and Dean’s tongue and Dean’s hands on his ass and just everything,

Dean ate Cas out for quite a while. When he stopped, Cas wanted to tell him not to stop but he couldn’t really talk at that point.

Then Dean reached for lube, He poured some into his palm. He lubed up his fingers and looked Cas right in the eye. Then he pushed one finger into Cas. He only pushed it in up to the first knuckle.

It felt huge to Cas. Huge and wonderful. Cas hadn’t had anything inside of him since Balthazar had hurt him. But this… this was something he wanted.

Dean pushed his finger in all the way and moved it around inside Cas, and then he touched Cas’ prostate. Cas arched his back and felt like someone had electrocuted him.

“Oh fuck, Dean… holy crap…”

Dean smiled and played around the spot for a second. Then he pulled his finger back and it was joined by a second one. Now Cas felt incredibly full but he actually pushed back against Dean’s hand involuntarily.

Dean pushed his fingers back and forth inside Cas. Cas heard himself moaning and groaning and being very noisy, but it felt like someone else was making the sounds, not him.

Cas’ cock was pouring pre cum. It was hard and throbbing and needy. But he hardly even noticed it, his entire attention was on Dean and what Dean was doing to him.

Then he felt his balls tighten up. Heat spread outward from them into his belly, and it overtook him without warning. He came hard, He painted his belly and chest with cum.

Dean was still running those fingers in Cas, but somehow they had become three while he was coming.

Cas knew what he wanted. He couldn’t rationally believe he wanted it, but his body ached for it.

He wanted Dean to fuck him. Now.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have sex.

Cas gasped out, “Dean. Dean, please, fuck me. Please, Dean, I’m so ready…”

Dean jerked his head up to look at Cas. His fingers stopped moving inside of Cas.

“Cas. Are you sure? I mean, I need you to be absolutely sure.”

Cas nodded fiercely,

“Yes, Dean. I’m sure. Please…”

Dean reached into the drawer in his bedside table and got out a condom. He rolled it on his aching cock and put a ton of lube on it.

Dean moved up and pulled the pillow out from under Cas. He looked Cas in the eyes.

“Okay, baby. I don’t want to hurt you. If it hurts too much, just tell me. I’ll stop, I swear.”

Cas nodded.

Dean put the head of his cock against Cas’ hole. Dean was nervous as hell. He didn’t want to hurt Cas or scare him.

Dean pushed the head of his cock into Cas and then he just stopped. It took every bit of will power he had not to push in more but he wanted Cas to relax and adjust.

Cas looked fine and just nodded. So Dean pushed in more. When he had his cock about half way in he stopped again.

Cas looked a little scared but he said, “I’m fine, Dean. Please, just fuck me.”

So Dean pushed in all the way. He felt his balls on Cas’ ass. He stopped again for just a moment, looking at Cas for any signs of distress. He didn’t see any.

He pulled back to the point that he was almost out of Cas and then he pushed back in. It felt so fucking good. Cas was so tight, in spite of how much Dean had opened him beforehand. Cas was tight and so hot inside. It was incredible.

Dean pulled back and pushed in over and over. He really wanted to push in harder but he didn’t. He kept his eyes on Cas’ face. Cas had his eyes closed but his face showed nothing but passion.

Dean increased his speed a bit. Cas was groaning and began to push back against Dean’s thrusts. They established a rhythm that was good for both of them.

Cas was hard again. Dean swore he was going to start calling Cas the Comeback Kid, the way he could get hard again so quickly.

Dean put his head against Cas’. He whispered in Cas’ ear, “Touch yourself, baby, Make yourself cum again for me.”

Cas grabbed his cock and began to run his hand up and down his shaft.

Dean was doing his best to hold back. He wanted Cas to cum first or at least for them to cum at the same time. He slowed down. Cas whined.

But then Cas said, “I’m coming, Dean…”

And he did. His orgasm caused his hole to clench a couple of times and that was it for Dean. Dean came so hard he almost passed out. He threw his head back and just left his cock in Cas as he shot over and over.

Finally, it was done. Dean moved back and forth in Cas a little until his softened and then he pulled out, He rolled the condom off and tied it. He dropped it in the neighborhood of his trash can.

Dean laid down next to Cas and tried to catch his breath. He looked at Cas for any sign that Cas wasn’t okay but Cas seemed blissed out.

Dean waited. After a bit Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean.

“I think I love you.”

Dean was shocked. But he already knew he loved Cas, so he just said, “I love you, Cas.”

Cas smiled. That smile just brightened every corner of Dean’s life.

“That was the most incredible thing that ever happened to me, ever. I had no idea… shit. I could kill Balthazar.”

 

Dean sighed. “Yeah me too. He better hope I never run into him. Like ever.”

 

Cas cuddled up to Dean and nuzzled under his chin. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and held him tightly. Dean was just so grateful that they had finally made it through that final hurdle.

Plus, they had both used the L word and that was huge.

 

They napped, wrapped around each other. Dean woke up first and had to piss so bad he felt like his eyes were floating. He carefully disengaged from Cas and got up. He walked to the bathroom and took a long, very satisfying piss. When he was washing his hands, he looked at himself in the mirror.

He had a serious case of bed head and he had stubble but all in all, he looked the same as always. He didn’t know what he expected but he felt like a different person entirely. He was the man who loved Cas. He was the man who fucked Cas and made Cas feel safe and good with that. Everything seemed different.

Back in the bedroom, Cas was awake. He smiled that smile at Dean, the one that melted Dean’s heart. Cas’ dazzling blur eyes sparkled.

“Hey, baby, how are you feeling?”

 

Cas smiled even bigger. “I feel amazing, Dean. I’m so happy. You make me so happy.”

Dean crawled back into the bed. He kissed Cas. A lot. He kissed Cas all over his face and neck, behind his ears, and very passionately on Cas’ mouth. Cas opened for him and Dean fucked his tongue in and out of Cas’ mouth.

Dean pulled Cas up to lie on him. He pulled Cas up so that his head was higher than Dean’s.

Dean reached back and put his hand into Cas’ ass crack and Cas moaned. Dean put two fingers into Cas. Cas was still slick with lube and slightly open from their fucking.

Cas wiggled on top of him. And got hard again.

Dean played with Cas’ ass, He loved it. He wanted to make Cas cum just by fingering his hole if he could.

“I love your ass, Cas. I just love playing with it. You are so tight. As much as I loved fucking you, I really loved just sticking my fingers in you, too.”

Cas responded by groaning and grinding his cock against Dean’s belly.

Dean advanced until he had four fingers in Cas. He fucked them in and out slowly. Cas was grinding harder than ever.

And then Cas gasped out, “Fuck Dean… oh fuck…”

And he came. His cum plastered them.

“That’s my sweet baby. I love you Cas.”

 

Cas groaned out, “I love you too, Dean. And I loved _that_.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They move in together.

They cleaned up and went to the kitchen to scare up some dinner. Dean ended up fixing spaghetti and garlic bread. As they ate, they chatted about usual things like work. Cas told Dean the latest crap some of his students had pulled and Dean told Cas about this amazing car he was working on. They were relaxed with one another.

 

After dinner, they played Trivial Pursuit and Dean won. He was a master at music and pop culture. Cas was more the intellectual of the two. They laughed a lot while they played.

Sipping beer and sitting out on the back porch of Dean’s house, they got quiet and thoughtful.

Dean had inherited the house when he folks got killed in an auto accident. It was a homey place with four bedrooms. Way too big for a bachelor but it was Dean’s childhood home and it meant everything to him. His little brother was in college and probably would end up working someplace far from Lawrence Kansas.

Cas lived in a small apartment. It was just enough space for him. He really didn’t need much. He was from San Francisco and his whole family was still there. Cas had escaped them and their homophobia and he lived in a tiny place so there was never any chance of any of them coming for a visit.

At twenty-eight, Cas was two years older than Dean. They met when Cas’ car broke down and got towed to the garage that Dean worked at. They had felt an immediate attraction and Dean had asked Cas out on a date the first time he met him.

Eventually, they pretty much settled in to alternating weekends at each other’s places. If he was honest with himself, Cas much preferred to be at Dean’s place. It was more of a home than Cas had ever had. Even though his parents were wealthy, Cas never felt like the place where he grew up was a home in any sense of the word.

 

 

Dean took a long pull from his beer. They were looking up at the stars, but Dean turned and looked at Cas.

“Cas, I want you to move in with me.”

Cas just stared at him for a few beats. Dean began to get nervous, fearing he’s overstepped some invisible boundary,

Then Cas beamed at him and said, “Dean, I’d love to live with you here.”

Dean jumped up and hugged him.

“Cas, that’s great! I’m really excited.”

Cas was too.

 

 

The move took place gradually over the course of the next three weeks. Cas didn’t have all that much to move, but he took his time. He was always methodical in everything he did, and this was no exception. He notified his landlord, boxed things carefully and made sure each box was clearly labeled.

He spent three days cleaning in order to get his deposit back. Dean helped but Cas was a real stickler about things and in the end, they both got frustrated.

But finally Cas was moved in. Dean had made plenty of space for Cas in the closet and gave him several drawers. Cas’ work things were given a brand new desk in one of the bedrooms that they intended to make over into an office. Cas really didn’t have photos or mementos.

 

The first night that Cas was fully moved in was a big deal for both of them. Dean fixed a special dinner for them and bought a bottle of wine.

 They ate and then went out back to finish the wine. Looking at the starry sky always grounded both of them. But it got chilly and they decided to go back in.

It was a Friday night and they had all weekend together. Cas had planned it that way. Their sex life was very fulfilling, but it had taken a real hit with the moving. Cas was anxious to remedy that.

 

Back inside, Cas pulled Dean to him and kissed him. He forced his tongue into Dean’s mouth and Dean responded right away. Dean ran his teeth along Cas’ bottom lip and sucked the lip into his mouth.

Dean pushed Cas up against the wall and trapped Cas’ arms above his head. He kissed Cas hard and pushed his leg in between Cas’. Cas could feel Dean’s erection against his thigh and he ground against it. Dean broke away and pulled Cas to the bedroom by his hand.

Once they were in there, Dean began to strip Cas. Cas just stood and let him. When Cas was completely naked, Dean just picked him up and deposited him on the bed. Cas lay there and watched Dean strip. When Dean pulled down his boxer briefs and his cock sprung out, Cas licked his lips.

Then Dean was crawling over him. Dean’s cock drug over Cas’ belly and that forced a moan out of Cas. Dean was kissing him hard. It was messy and wet and filthy. Cas moaned again, into Dean’s mouth. Dean’s hands were running over Cas’ chest and playing with his very sensitive nipples.

Cas was running his hands over Dean’s sides and his back. When Dean nipped Cas’ neck and licked down it, Cas dug his nails into Dean’s back and scratched down. Dean shivered.

Dean moved down and sucked on Cas’ nipples, causing Cas to gasp and arch his back. Dean loved teasing Cas’ nipples. He bit them lightly and listened to the sounds Cas made.

Then Dean licked over Cas’ belly and down to his balls. He completely bypassed Cas’ cock. Instead he sucked each of Cas’ balls into his mouth and just reveled in the groaning Cas was making.

Dean was determined to make this last. He pushed Cas over onto his stomach and pulled Cas’ ass cheeks apart. He put his mouth over Cas’ hole and licked. Cas was making those amazing sounds that only he could make. Dean spent a long time eating Cas out.

At last he reached for lube and rolled a condom on. He lubed up his hand and pushed two fingers into Cas. Cas bucked up against Dean’s hand. Dean worked slowly, opening Cas up for him.

Then lubed up, he laid on top of Cas and pushed in. This was just about his favorite part of fucking Cas. Cas was so tight it was just an amazing feeling to breach the muscle ring and push inside. Dean never ever got tired of that feeling.

Dean fucked Cas slowly until Cas was begging him to speed up and fuck harder. Dean obliged him and it wasn’t long before he felt his orgasm rising. He thrust into Cas and came, yelling Cas’ name. Cas came at the same time.

All Dean could think of was how much he loved this man and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life just making Cas happy.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes into therapy.

That night, as they slept, Cas started to toss and turn in his sleep. Then he began to whine. Soon he was yelling, “No! No, please stop. It hurts, please stop…” over and over again.

Dean was trying to wake Cas up, He had Cas in his arms and was telling him to wake up.

Finally, Cas did wake but he struggled to get away from Dean. His eyes were wild.

“Cas. Cas, it’s me. It’s Dean. Baby, it’s me.”

Cas came fully awake.

“Dean? Oh Dean…”

And Cas started to cry and he was clinging to Dean.

Dean almost cried himself.

 

When Cas was just sniffling, Dean asked if he wanted to talk about it.

Cas sniffed again. “I dreamed about Balthazar.”

Dean sighed. Fuck that guy.

“I figured that was what was happening. Baby, does this happen often?”

 

“Not too much, no. I guess it was just the first night here. I don’t know.”

Dean was really hoping it wasn’t happening because they had sex. He was really worried.

“Baby, I really think you should talk to someone about this. You know, a professional.”

Cas looked mournful.

“Okay, Dean, if you think I should, I will.”

Dean kissed him.

“I think it might help, Cas. I really do.”

 

The next night Cas had another nightmare. He got an appointment with a therapist that specialized in gay rape for the next week.

Cas was not interested in having sex because he was traumatized by the dreams.

It was a long week for Dean. He was really worried about Cas. Of course the lack of sex had him upset as well. But he just wanted to be supportive of Cas.

 

 

Cas sat in the therapist’s office. The therapist’s name was Ellen Harvelle. She looked like a kind, but no-nonsense kind of woman. Cas sighed, feeling very uncomfortable.

 

“Hello, Castiel. I’m Ellen.”

 

“Please, call me Cas, It’s easier.”

Ellen smiled. “Okay, Cas it is. Tell me, are you comfortable talking to a woman? I know you’re gay and if you need a male therapist, I can arrange for one to talk to you.”

Cas considered it.

“No, I can talk with you. It’ll be fine.”

Ellen smiled. “Okay, Cas, tell me about the rape, if you can.”

 

Cas talked for twenty minutes. He told her about how he and Balthazar got together, how long they dated before he wanted to have sex with Cas and just how impatient he was with Cas. Cas was a virgin and was uncomfortable with the idea of sex. Balthazar was very persuasive.

The night of the rape, Cas was at Balthazar’s apartment. They had dinner, and then were making out some. Balthazar told Cas it was time for them to have sex. Cas didn’t want to but he didn’t want to disappoint Balthazar either, so he had agreed.

But when Cas got to the part of the story where the actual rape took place, he began to cry. He was mortified, but he couldn’t help it.

Ellen stopped him from talking.

“It’s perfectly alright for you to be emotional, Cas. In fact, I would be very worried about you if you weren’t. You don’t have to tell me about it yet if you’re not ready. But please, crying is a completely normal response to this type of trauma.”

Cas sniffled. Her words were very comforting.

After a bit, Cas pulled himself together and told Ellen the details of the rape.

“I didn’t even consider it rape until I told my partner. He explained that I had been raped. It was a revelation to me.”

“It sounds as if you have a very understanding partner.” Ellen smiled at Cas.

Cas was quick to tell her that Dean was very understanding, very supportive and a wonderful man.

Ellen told Cas she’d like to meet Dean sometime and Cas agreed to ask Dean.

 

“Are you familiar with the term ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’, Cas?”

Cas said he knew the term.

Ellen explained to him that experiencing a traumatic event such as rape left a person with understandable fears. She said that many people had triggers, things that brought back the trauma suddenly. This led to panic attacks, and nightmares such as Cas had been having.

She told him that she would work with him to understand his triggers, what to do if he had sudden flashbacks, and how to live with PTSD.

Cas was relieved. He wanted to get better, and he very much wanted to get back to a healthy sex life with Dean.

Ellen gave him some reading material to go over until their next appointment and they agreed to meet the same day and same time next week.

Cas left feeling better than he had in weeks.

 

 

That night when Dean got home from work, Cas was waiting for him with a nice dinner and a beer. He told Dean all about Ellen and his appointment.

Dean was very relieved that it had gone so well. He told Cas he would be happy to go and meet Ellen whenever they wanted him to.

 

After dinner, Dean was sitting on the couch, finishing his beer. Cas was just finishing putting the leftovers away. Cas walked out to the couch, took Dean’s beer away from him and sat it on the coffee table. Then he straddled Dean’s thighs and kissed him.

Dean grabbed Cas’ shirt in his fist and pulled him closer. They kissed passionately. Dean could feel Cas’ hard on pressing against his belly. Dean ground against Cas and Cas moaned into his mouth.

Cas got up and pulled Dean into the bedroom. They stripped hurriedly and fell onto the bed in each other’s arms.

Cas positioned himself on top of Dean, so that their cocks rubbed against one another. Dean moaned and pulled Cas down for more kisses. Cas ground his cock against Dean’s.

“Fuck me Dean. Please, fuck me now.”

Dean flipped Cas onto his back and got lube. He lubed up his fingers and pushed two into Cas. Cas groaned and fucked himself on them.

When Dean was up to four fingers deep in Cas, he pulled out. Cas hissed at the loss, but watched Dean roll on a condom and lube it up.

Dean slid into Cas gently. Cas pushed against him and wrapped his legs around Dean’s hips. Dean bottomed out in Cas.

“Oh my god, Cas. It feels so fucking good inside you. I love you so much.”

Cas panted out that he loved Dean too, even as Dean began to fuck him.

 

When Dean fell onto the bed next to Cas, they both were completely sex-blown. Cas had cum on his chest and belly from coming and Dean had ditched the condom. They wrapped their arms around each other. Cas felt happy and safe.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas continues therapy. There is a school shooting.

 

Cas went four days without a nightmare. But on the fifth night he woke up screaming. Dean held him and ran his hand through Cas’ hair and said quiet, soothing things to him.

Dean was beginning to feel there was a direct connection between their sex life and Cas’ night terrors. He really wanted to talk to Cas’ therapist so he called and made an appointment with her.

 

Dean was nervous in the waiting room. What if Cas took offense at his talking to Ellen? Could he see it as Dean meddling or interfering? Dean was driving himself nuts. Finally, Ellen opened her door and called him in.

Dean told her about his concerns, and about Cas’ night terrors. Ellen listened quietly.

“Now, you know I can’t discuss anything about Cas’ therapy sessions with you, right?”

Dean nodded.

“But having said that, I can offer that I think that Cas beginning a sexual relationship has triggered his PTSD”

Dean was getting very upset.

Ellen continued. “But I still think that a healthy sexual relationship will be very good for Cas. He needs to learn that sex can be pleasurable and it can bring two people closer. He should not avoid sex because of his past problems.”

Dean smiled. He was tremendously relieved.

“I think you are just going to have to continue to be supportive. Cas loves you very much, and I can clearly see how much you love him. Just be there for him. And continue to have sex as long as he is willing and comfortable with it.”

Dean thanked her very much and left. He was feeling so much better. Of course he would always be there for Cas. always support him. He loved Cas too much to let him down.

 

 

Dean told Cas that he’d gone to see Ellen that night. He explained why and what she had told him. He waited for Cas to speak.

 

“I love that you care enough about me to check with her if sex is okay. I love your concern and how supportive you are, Dean. I love you so much and I just want to get better so we can get on with our lives.”

Dean was relieved. He kissed Cas.

“Babe, you are being so brave and of course we are going to get past this. I just want you to be happy, that’s all in the world I want.”

Cas saw Ellen once a week. They worked through his night terrors. She validated his feelings and helped him recognize his triggers. Cas was getting stronger by the week. He learned that he would always have PTSD but it didn’t have to rule his life. She explained that sometimes he might feel scared or have a panic attack but it didn’t mean that he was getting worse again. He could get past anything.

 

Life with Dean just got better. They settled into a comfortable routine. They laughed a lot and started a once a week date night.

Cas’ night terrors stopped. Cas learned to avoid certain movies and even TV shows that depicted rape or that type of violence.

Things were just fine.

 

 

Cas had just finished he lunch in the teacher’s lounge when he heard screams. He ran in the direction they were coming from. And then he heard a gunshot.

Running faster, Cas went around a corner and saw a student with a hand gun. He was pointing it at terrified students and one was on the ground, groaning and bleeding from a shoulder wound.

The shooter’s back was to Cas.

Without even thinking, Cas grabbed a chair. He ran up behind the student with the gun and hit him over the head.

The gunman hit the floor, knocked unconscious. The students ran out, screaming, into the arms of police officers.

The officers ran up to Cas and asked if he was alright. Surprisingly he was fine.

He hadn’t even thought about it, he just grabbed the chair and hit the kid. Everyone was clapping him on the back and saying he was a hero. He didn’t feel like a hero. He just did what needed to be done.

 

The gunman was fine, just knocked out for a bit, and he needed a few stitches. The boy who got shot was also okay. The police said it was a miracle that Cas was there to stop the gunman. He had a full clip in his gun and several other clips in his pockets,

The boy had been bullied by bigger kids, mainly jocks. The boy who was shot was on the football team and was one of the ones who had bullied the boy the most.

After giving his statement to the police, they let Cas leave. As soon as he got out the door, Dean was there and ran to him. He grabbed Cas and hugged him so tightly, Cas couldn’t breathe.

“God, Cas, I was so frightened. All I heard was that there was a shooting and I was petrified you’d be hurt. Then god, thank god.” Dean was in tears. Cas assured Dean that he was fine.

 

There were reporters everywhere. They rushed up to Cas and wanted to know what had happened, how he had managed to stop the gunman and calling him a hero. He didn’t want to talk to them and the police made them move back. Cas and Dean took that opportunity to run to the car and leave.

Inside the car, Dean asked Cas what exactly he’d done. When he told Dean, Dean got sort of upset.

“Cas, you could have been shot. Fuck, you could have been killed. What were you thinking?”

Cas explained that he hadn’t been thinking at all, he had just reacted.

Dean was red in the face.

 

When they got home, Dean grabbed Cas and pulled him in to a fierce hug.

“Babe, if anything ever happened to you, it would kill me. I couldn’t go on. Promise me, no more heroics okay? Promise.”

Cas promised.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some wild sex.

Dean pulled Cas into the bedroom. He felt such a raw need… He needed Cas. Needed Cas under him. Needed to prove to himself that Cas was here, safe and whole. When he heard about the school shooting on the radio, he thought he would die before he ever made it to the school to check on Cas himself. If anything had happened to Cas… he couldn’t even think about it.

 

Dean pulled Cas’ clothes off in a frenzy. He tore his own clothes off. Cas just looked at him, aware of the fact that Dean was being driven by something but he wasn’t exactly sure what.

Cas was on his back on the bed. Dean crawled over him, dragging his cock over Cas’ belly and Cas moaned. Dean kissed Cas fiercely.

Dean claimed Cas’ mouth. His tongue invaded and took complete control of Cas’ mouth. Cas was hard and getting needier by the second.

Dean kissed his eyes, his forehead, his cheeks. When he kissed behind Cas’ ear, he whispered hotly in Cas’ ear, giving him goosebumps. “I’m going to fuck you into the mattress. I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow. Senseless… I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

Dean worked his way down Cas’ throat. He wished he could mark him there, but he got that it would look bad on a junior high school teacher to have visible hickeys, so he marked Cas’ chest instead. He sucked and bit marks all over Cas’ chest.

He sucked hard on Cas’ nipples, getting a loud response out of Cas.

He drug his tongue down Cas’ belly. He licked Cas’ balls. And then he pushed Cas’ legs far apart and got in between them.

He pushed Cas’ legs up. He looked at Cas’ tight hole and his mouth watered. He wanted to eat Cas until he was screaming.

He took his time. Even though his own cock was throbbing with need, and leaking pre cum like a faucet, he still took his time. Cas was groaning and whimpering. Dean pushed his tongue in and out of Cas’ hole while he ran his hand up and down Cas’ cock.

Cas came, yelling Dean’s name. It was all Dean could take. He grabbed a condom and rolled it on to his aching cock. He got lube and pressed two fingers into Cas, working fast to open Cas. His need had reached animalistic proportions.

He moved up, and put Cas’ legs onto his shoulders. He pressed in and Cas moaned.

“Oh yes, Dean… yes, fuck me… please… I need you so much…”

Dean pushed in until he couldn’t get any deeper, then he moved up until Cas was bent in two. He yanked back and thrust back in. It was just so fucking good…

Cas had his hands on Dean’s arms and he was clutching Dean like he was drowning.

Dean plowed Cas’ ass hard, harder than he ever had before. Cas was moaning out his name and seemed to be taking it.

When Dean felt like he was getting close, he pulled out. Cas whimpered.

Dean flipped Cas onto his hands and knees. Cas put his head down and stuck his ass up high. Dean grabbed his hips and plunged in again. The brief break had calmed his urge to come.

He fucked Cas frantically. He couldn’t get enough. He needed Cas, he needed this. Cas was grunting and making these little ‘uhh, uhh, uhh’ sounds. Dean reached under Cas to find he was hard again.

Dean jacked Cas off on rhythm to his fucking. Cas was thrusting back against every push Dean made in to him and then would push his cock into Dean’s fist.

“Yeah, baby, take it all. Feel me inside you. I want you to cum for me baby, while I use your hole.”

Cas came again and this time, he did scream. This just pushed Dean over the edge. He rammed into Cas and just held there, shooting over and over again. He was sweating to the point that it was dripping on Cas’ back. He felt like his lungs were on fire.

He pulled out and ditched the condom. Then he just collapsed next to Cas, struggling to catch his breath.

Cas was just gone. His blue eyes showed nothing but black pupils. His breath was ragged.

They finally came back. Cas rolled onto Dean and put his head on Dean’s chest, right over his heart. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas.

“I love you so much, Dean. I don’t even have words for it.”

Dean smiled and kissed the top of Cas’ head.

“That’s how much I love you, baby.”

 

After a bit, Dean slapped Cas’ ass hard. Cas grunted. Dean smacked him again.

“Fuck. What was that for. Dean?”

 

“For being a fucking hero, that’s what. You’re lucky I don’t turn you over my knee and spank you until you can’t sit down for days.”

Cas didn’t have anything he could think of to say to that.

 

They struggled up and cleaned off. Dean made them sandwiches and they ate them with a beer.

After a bit of silence, Cas said, “I think I’d really like it if you’d spank me.”

Dean looked surprised, but said, “That can be easily arranged, baby.”

 

They sat in silence again for a while.

Then Dean looked at Cas. “We need to get tested. I am fucking sick to death of condoms. I want to really feel being inside you.”

Cas nodded.

 

They were tired. They went to bed, but both of them had trouble getting to sleep. Dean was rewinding the fear he’s felt driving to the school. He thought he’d die if Cas were dead. He would have nothing left in his life and the thought was just too dark to contemplate.

 

Cas thought about how he’d scared Dean so badly. He felt really ashamed about it. He thought about how amazing the sex had been. He thought about how much he loved Dean.

 

Separately, they each made a decision.

They wanted to get married.

 

Finally sleep claimed each of them, but not until they each had hatched a plan to ask the other to marry them. They fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's getting married and there is a confrontation with Balthazar.

Dean called Cas into the bedroom one Saturday afternoon. He was sitting in the bed, with his head against the headboard and his legs straight out in front of him

“Strip, Cas.” Cas did, looking confused.

Dean pulled Cas down over his legs, ass up. He began to spank Cas. Not as hard as he could of course, but hard enough. Cas squealed.

Dean continued to spank even as he felt Cas’ grow hard. Cas couldn’t see, but Dean was grinning.

After he had spanked Cas enough that his ass cheeks were rosy, Dean reached for the lube he had left next to him. He lubed up his hand and shoved two fingers into Cas, who moaned and pushed back against them.

“I want you to cum baby, just from my fingers in you.”

Dean fucked Cas with his fingers, gradually getting up to four in him. Cas was moaning and rubbing his cock against Dean’s lap.

Then Cas groaned, “I’m going to cum, Dean… oh fuck…”

And Cas came all over Dean’s legs. Dean finished with another slap to Cas’ ass.

Cas rolled over and just said, “Awesome.”

 

Three weeks passed. Each of them were still hatching their plans to ask the other to marry them.  Each of then thought they were being so slick, it just tickled them both to no end.

They got tested.

 

But then, Dean heard from his brother.

Sam, it seemed was graduating from Stanford and planning to get marred in the same week. He wanted Dean to be his best man. Luckily, it was planned for the week after Cas’ school was out for the summer, so they made travel plans.

Dean was a very nervous flyer. He went to the doctor and got a few Xanax to help him. Cas promised to hold his hand all the way.

Cas a bit uncomfortable about going back to the city where his entire family lived, but the chances of running into any of them seemed negligible.

 

Dean white-knuckled it all the way but managed to get to San Francisco without having a total nervous breakdown on the plane. They checked into the hotel where Sam had made arrangements for them to stay, all expenses paid. It seemed that Sammy was marrying into money.

Their room was beautiful. It featured a sitting room and a bedroom with a huge bed. Dean eyed the bed and then wiggled his eyebrows at Cas, who laughed.

“Think you’re being subtle there, cowboy?”

 

Dean grinned broadly.

“Hey, baby, hotel sex sounds sexy.”

 

 

But they were tired so they napped before meeting Sam and his fiancé and her family for dinner.

 

They went downstairs to the hotel restaurant. They were led to a huge table. Sam stood up and hugged Dean and then hugged Cas as well when Dean introduced them. Sam introduced then to Jess, his beautiful fiancé. She directed them to her bridesmaid, Hannah.

And then, Cas just froze. Sitting next to Hannah was Balthazar.

Jess was saying something about how he was Hannah’s brother. Balthazar stood up and grinned at Cas.

“Hello, Cassie. Long time, no see.”

When Dean heard his name, his hands balled up into fists. But before he could even react. Cas walked up to Balthazar and punched him square in the nose. Balthazar went down, his nose bloodied, but he was laughing.

Everyone at the table gasped. Cas turned and ran out of the restaurant.

Before Dean ran after him, he pulled Sam to him and whispered harshly in his ear.

“That son of a bitch raped Cas. If you don’t get rid of him, we’re leaving.”

Sam was left with his mouth hanging open as Dean turned and hurried out.

 

Dean found Cas in the room, curled up into a tiny ball on the bed. He was sobbing and gasping for breath.  Dean ran to him and began to rub Cas’ lower back.

“Babe, it’s okay. You’re fine. Please try to slow down your breathing. Listen to me, either he goes or we’re going home. You never have to see him again. Please. baby, try to breathe.”

Cas gasped and tried to slow down his breathing just to please Dean. He felt like he was drowning, but Dean rubbing circles on his back helped.

At last, Cas got control. He turned and looked at Dean.

“Of all the people on the face of the earth, why did it have to be him?”

Dean just shook his head.

“I don’t know, baby. I just don’t know. But if you think about it, you got to punch him in the nose. That has to be somewhat satisfying.”

Cas chuckled.

“It really was.”

 

“Mean right hook you got there, slugger. Remind me to never really piss you off.” Dean smiled at Cas.

Cas laughed. They hugged.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Cas. You actually stood up to him. And you are not in a padded room. You’re here with me, laughing. You’re amazing.”

Cas admitted to himself that he was actually proud of himself for punching Balthazar.

 

Dean checked his phone right before they went to bed. He read a text. Then he read it again. And his face broke out in a huge smile. He didn’t mention anything to Cas, who was in the bathroom when he saw it.

They lay in the center of the huge bed, nude. Dean was kissing Cas all over. Cas was gasping at all the attention Dean was bestowing on him.

Dean kissed all over Cas’ face, his throat, his chest. He got in between Cas’ legs and kissed down his inner thighs and was rewarded with moan from Cas.

He licked the crease where Cas’ leg became his crotch. He played with Cas’ hard cock and licked Cas’ hole. He just did everything he could to drive Cas nuts.

Lubed up, he pushed Cas’ legs onto his shoulders. And he pushed into Cas without benefit of a condom.

Cas’ eyes got big.

Dean whispered, “I heard back about our tests, baby.”

 

Dean just couldn’t believe how it felt to slide into Cas with nothing between them. It was more than amazing, it was mind-blowing. To feel Cas’ hole open for him and then to feel Cas’ channel, Dean just never wanted it to end.

He fucked Cas slowly until Cas was begging him to speed up, so he did.

And finally, he felt the heat begin. He thrust up into Cas, and held his cock there. He felt every shot of his cum go up into Cas. He felt it roll back on the head of his cock.

Cas was groaning and saying how good it was. Dean had to agree. It was damned good.

When he pulled out, he sat back and watched Cas leak cum back out of him. Dean reached down and gathered it up on his fingers, tasting himself. Then he got more and put his fingers into Cas’ mouth, who sucked them greedily.

They slept like babies.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get engaged.

They woke up the next morning to a message on Dean’s phone that Balthazar was gone and that everyone was sorry about what happened.

Later, when Dean was getting his final fitting for his tux, Sam had confided to him that Balthazar had denied raping Cas and that he said Cas was a willing participant. Dean just got mad all over again so they agreed to drop the subject.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Dean looked sexy as hell in his tux, Cas thought.

At the reception, both Cas and Dean had sneaky ideas on how to propose to the other one.

 

When the cake was served, Cas slipped a ring onto Dean’s slice of cake. Dean, on the other hand, dropped a ring into Cas’ glass of champagne. 

Just as Dean looked at his cake, Cas took a drink. They both just grabbed their rings and gaped at the other man,

Dean and Cas said at the same time, “Are you proposing?”

It was really funny and everyone around them laughed.

Cas let Dean go first.

“Baby, I love you more than l can ever tell you. You light up every corner of my life. Will you marry me?”

Of course, Cas accepted.

Then it was Cas’ turn.

‘Dean, you have helped me grow as a person. You are always there for me and I want to always be there for you. Will you marry me?”

Dean grabbed Cas and kissed him, just saying, “Yes.”

Everyone clapped.

 

They slow-danced. They didn’t even know what song was playing. They only had eyes for each other.

Sam offered to pay for the wedding if they wanted to stay around for another couple of weeks. They declined. Dean wanted to marry Cas at home and Cas agreed.

They really just wanted to go home.

The last night in the hotel they made love tenderly. They each wore the ring that the other had given them. They were engaged and it was amazing.

 

Dean took his Xanax and made it home on the plane. He clung to Cas’ hand the entire way.

 

At last, they were home. They agreed to never leave again, no matter what. They fell, exhausted, in their bed and slept.

 

Dean woke up first. He laid there, waking up, and just watched Cas sleep. He looked so sweet and happy. He mumbled and moved closer to Dean and Dean gently kissed his forehead, He slid out of bed and went to piss and brush his teeth.

Back in the bedroom. Cas slept on. Dean put on sweats and went to get a cup of coffee. While he waited for the pot to brew, he checked the mail that had come while they were gone.

 

As Dean sipped his cup of coffee, Cas wandered into the kitchen. His hair was even more messy than usual and he had a bleary look on his face.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” He sounded grumpy.

 

“Babe, you were sound asleep and I figured you needed the rest. Come on, here’s a cup of coffee.”

Cas accepted the coffee with a grunt.

After he was done with it, he was more awake.

 

Dean pulled him into the living room. “Come on, beautiful. We have a wedding to plan.”

 

Dean was going to ask Bobby to stand up with him. Bobby Singer owned the garage Dean worked at and had been a good friend to Dean for many years.

Cas really wanted Ellen to stand up with him. He was unsure if she would do it, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

They were just going to go to a justice of the peace.

 

They decided not to have a reception. They would just go out to dinner with Ellen and Bobby. And they didn’t want a traditional honeymoon. Their trip to Frisco was enough for them. They would just stay home and turn off the phone and fuck like bunnies for a week.

 

This sounded like heaven to both of them.

 

They planned the wedding for two months away.

When Cas contacted Ellen, she said she would be honored to stand up with Cas. He was both surprised and thrilled that she agreed.

 

Dean contacted a justice of the peace and they had an appointment to get married on July 20th.

They decided to write their own vows. It was all coming together and they were very excited.

 

Then Cas started having nightmares again. Dean wasn’t surprised. After all, running into that SOB face to face was bound to cause Cas’ PTSD to rear its ugly head. Cas made an appointment with Ellen.

 

Cas and Ellen worked through Cas’ feelings at seeing Balthazar again. She was tickled that Cas had punched him. Although she was quick to say that physical violence was never the answer to anything, still, she thought Cas had handled the situation very well. It took a few sessions before Cas’ nightmares went away.

Cas was left with anger. He was really angry at Balthazar. Although he realized that the rape ultimately meant he was with Dean, still, he felt cheated. He wondered how much better his relationship with Dean would be if it had never happened.

Ellen told him that getting rid of the anger was going to take time, and work, but he needed to in order to be completely healthy again. Cas agreed to work on his feelings.

 

The summer was wearing down and it was getting closer and closer to their wedding. They both were hard at work on their vows. Bobby was bitching about needing a suit. It was all very exciting.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get married.

The 20th of June arrived. The sun shone brightly and it was pretty warm. Dean and Cas laid in the bed for a while and just cuddled, thinking about the day. Today they would get married.

But then it was time to get up. They ate breakfast, and both were quiet. They were sort of lost in their own thoughts about the day. Plus, Dean was worried he’d forget his vows so he was silently going over them in his head.

They dressed and left the house. They drive to city hall and met Ellen in the hall. They stood around, waiting for Bobby to arrive and for the appointment time to finally arrive. Ellen hugged both of them. She had a huge smile on her face.

Finally, at the last minute, Bobby came rushing up. He grumbled about having to wear a ‘god dammed’ suit and how he’s had problems with the tie.

 

They went into the justice of the peace’s chambers. They stood in front of him with Ellen and Bobby on either side.

The ceremony began.

 

 

 

"We are gathered today in the presences of witnesses for the joining in bonds of matrimony Dean and Castiel.

 

“The contract of marriage is one not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and with a deep realization of the obligations and responsibilities it entails. Please remember that love, loyalty, and understanding are the foundation of a happy home. No human ties are more important or more tender."

 

"Here is a reading I especially like:

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy. You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. You have done it by being yourself. Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all."

 

"Dean, you have chosen Castiel to be your life partner. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?"

 

"I will,"

 

"Castiel, you have chosen Dean to be your life partner. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?"

 

"I will."

 

"The couple have written their own vows."

 

Dean: "Cas, I love you more than mere words could ever express. You brought light into my life, made the sun shine where I saw only clouds. Your smile is my sun, your kiss is my moon and your eyes are my stars. I vow to always be your strength, your happiness and your true love as long as I live."

 

Cas: “Dean, I was a broken man when I met you. And thanks to your love, I am now whole. You gave me the gift of your support and your love and it changed me. I became what I was always meant to be... your partner in life. I vow to always love you and to always be the man you see when you look at me.”

 

Dean and Cas exchanged their rings.

 

"Now may those who wear these rings live in love all their days. Now may the love, which has brought you together, continue to grow and enrich your lives. May you continue to meet with courage any problems, which may arise to challenge you. May your relationship always be one of love and trust. May the happiness you share today be with you always."

 

"A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage, the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once each day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right partner...It is being the right partner"

 

"By the power vested in me by the state of Kansas, I pronounce you husband and husband."

 

"You can kiss now!"

 

Dean grabbed Cas and kissed him fiercely.

Ellen was crying and even Bobby brushed a tear from his cheek.

 

 

At the restaurant. Cas and Dean really only had eyes for each other.

Dean whispered, “Cas, we’re married!”

Cas smiled back and said, “Yeah, we are.”

Bobby and Ellen were chatting and laughing. They seemed to really be hitting it off. Cas thought they made a wonderful couple.

By the end of the meal, Bobby had asked Ellen out on a date and she had accepted. Dean was amazed. They seemed so different but by the look on Bobby’s face, that didn’t seem to make any difference to him. And Ellen was just beaming at him, too.

 

Dinner was over. They all stood outside the restaurant and said their goodbyes. Bobby walked Ellen to her car.

Dean opened the car door for Cas. Inside the car, he turned to Cas and said, “I love you so much, husband.”

Cas said, “I love you too, my husband.”

And they drove home.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex.

When they got home, Dean pulled Cas to him and said, “Hello husband.”

 

Cas smiled and said, “And hello to you, husband.”

Dean laid down next to Cas and pulled him close. He began to kiss him tenderly.

“I love you so much, Cas, it hurts sometimes. I just want you so badly…”

Cas shushed him with a kiss.

They kissed fort a while. They were tender, loving and soft. Still they both got erect.

Dean pulled Cas on top of him. His kisses got urgent and messy. Their tounges clashed until Dean took control of Cas’ mouth.

Dean slid his hand down Cas’ back to his ass crack. Then it went in and found Cas’ tight hole.

Dean ran his finger around it until Cas was moaning into his mouth.

He slipped the finger into Cas and this produced a gasp. Cas pushed his ass up to get more.

Dean had his other hand on Cas’ back rubbing small circles. Cas was holding on to Dean’s shoulders tightly. His head was buried in Dean’s neck and he moaned into Dean’s ear.

Dean’s finger slid in and out of Cas. and then became two. Dean took his time, not wanting to hurry anything tonight.

Cas whispered into Dean’s ear, “Dean… Dean… oh fuck… “

Dean increased to three fingers. Cas was fucking himself on them, so Dean just held them steady and allowed Cas to pleasure himself on them.

Finally, Cas was groaning and Dean couldn’t wait any longer. He grabbed the lube and pushed Cas up to allow him to lube up his cock.

“Ride me Cas.”

Cas sat up and straddled Dean’s thighs. He arranged himself above Dean’s cock and slowly slid himself down on it.

Cas sat down on Dean fully. He just sat there for a moment, feeling how Dean filled him to capacity and how erotic it was.

Then he lifted his hips up until only the tip of Dean’s cock remained in him, and he sunk down again.

A groan came out of Dean’s throat. He threw his head back and grabbed Cas’ hips tightly.

  
Cas put his hands on Dean’s hips and used them to help him slide on and off Dean’s cock. He went slowly, needing this to last as long as possible.

Dean grabbed Cas’ cock and began to run his hand up and down the shaft, rubbing the head every few passes. Cas moaned and thrust into Dean’s hand every time he lifted up from Dean’s cock.

They kept this up for a long time and then Cas need drove him to speed up. He began to slam himself onto Dean and Dean pulled him up and down by his hips.

They both felt it coming at the same time. Dean groaned out, “Oh fuck… Cas…” and came inside Cas.

Cas was whispering, “Dean… Dean… Dean…” over and over as he shot string after string of cum onto Dean’s chest.

Cas just sat on Dean until Dean was too soft. Cas slid off and fell next to Dean on the bed.

 

“My god, Dean… that was incredible.”

Dean grinned and nodded.

 

Cas cleaned up in the bathroom and then brought a wet cloth to wipe off Dean.

He laid next to Dean, and Dean pulled him close. Cas put his head on Dean’s chest and listened to the steady beat of Dean’s heart. It was very soothing.

They slept.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

They woke up to their first day as a married couple, smiling at one another. Dean kissed Cas all over his face, until Cas was squeaking for him to stop.

Dean got up and pulled Cas out of bed.

“Come on husband. I’m hungry. Let’s go make breakfast.”

 

As Dean fixed the eggs, he said, “We need kitchen lube.”

Cas looked at him with one eyebrow cocked up.

“Why, may I ask?

Dean grinned at him.

“So I can bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you senseless.”

Cas just smiled and made a mental note to buy more lube.

 

Their home honeymoon was awesome.

Their life together was filled with love.

Cas had a couple of PTSD episodes, including the time Dean came home from work to find Cas in the bathtub with his knees drawn up and sobbing. But they didn’t last long, thankfully.

They stood up with them when Ellen and Bobby got married.

They discussed having kids but decided against it. Dean couldn’t imagine having to share Cas with anyone, including a child. He was completely selfish when it came to Cas.

 

They sat out on the back porch as old men, looking up at the stars like they always had. They were so blessed, and they knew it.

In this case, love really did conquer all.

 

 


End file.
